They’ve worked well together before, but never in live-action. Can two super-heroes share a tentpole film without driving each other crazy?
Despite my previously expressed skepticism, I wouldn’t say the announced Superman sequel with Batman in it — or vice versa — is guaranteed to fail. I’m sure much deliberation and debate will occur behind the scenes as the filmmakers work together for the common goal of creating the best possible superhero moneymaking machine. If it’s bearable to watch more than once, then hey, bonus points.
What could possibly happen? I can imagine several outcomes, not all of them great.
Best-case scenarios:
* A return to the animated Timmverse (not the current direct-to-DVD projects, which aren’t the same thing anymore)
* Big-screen adaptation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ “For the Man Who Has Everything” — partly because it’s one of my all-time favorite DC stories, and partly because Hollywood hasn’t disgusted Alan Moore nearly enough yet
* Batman played by Ryan Reynolds; movie is one long scene of Superman punching Batman until he cries, looped for two hours
* Alt-timeline prequel in which Bruce and Clark know each other as kids and have Goonies-style adventures
* Batman played by Adam West; contains lots of lectures and disjointed repartee:
SUPERMAN: This isn’t an S. This symbol on my chest stands for “hope”.
BATMAN: And this symbol on my chest stands for justice!
ROBIN: That’s telling him, Batman!
BATMAN: Now, Robin, his methods and fashion coordination may differ from ours, but he is still your elder and therefore deserving of your respect. There’s no call for such a rambunctious attitude.
ROBIN: Golly, you’re right, Batman. Sorry, Superman!
SUPERMAN: …
(I’d totally pay to see this.)
What I’d rather not see:
* Present-day ripoff of the elderly-rebel-Bats/government-tool-Supes Dark Knight Returns fight scene with all of Frank Miller’s satirical context deleted
* George Clooney and Matt Damon ARE Batman and Superman WITH a dozen close friends who need the money IN Ocean’s 14
* Christian Bale/Michael Shannon steel-cage shouting match: a grating litany of “WHERE IS HE?” vs. “I WILL FIND HIM!”
* A Silver Age homage in which Lois Lane keeps trying to learn Batman’s identity through a series of crazy stunts, while Superman has to solve the Riddler’s latest knock-knock joke
* Massive auto-racing double-crossover called The Brave and the Bold vs. the Fast and the Furious
* Straight-faced reboot of Legends of the Superheroes starring Superman, Batman, Hawkman, Hawkman’s mom, and a reimagined Ghetto-Man who steals the movie in his new role as a 21st-century folk hero for the downtrodden 99%
* Wacky body-swap comedy forcing the two to live each other’s lives for a day and learn important lessons about their differences and their friendship
* Anything remotely related to DC’s New 52.
